I bet he comes in French.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
