and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
