My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
