The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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