when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
