I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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