But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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