oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
