I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
