trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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