Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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