You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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