I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
