he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
