i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
