that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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