were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
worst night to have a conscience
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
