I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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