i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
