You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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