craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
