She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
