You just made me feel so damn special
where am i from again
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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