Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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