Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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