my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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