well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
