Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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