My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dignity is for republicans.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
