Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
