i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
