i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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