So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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