There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
