Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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