It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
