After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
