Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
