it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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