you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
