K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
