Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Watching her eat just hurts me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
