The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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