I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
third nipple confirmed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
