I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
