the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
