the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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