I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
