you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
