its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
