There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
