you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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