We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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